As awareness, you can restore your mind to wholeness by observing it, investigating it, and not judging it. This type of self- inquiry cannot be properly described, organized, or taught, because it is unique to every individual psyche.
To experience this type of inquiry requires your intention to go within yourself and set off endless explosions of honest questioning. This kind of experimentation with your own psyche isn’t going to be easy or comfortable. Quality self-inquiry is about withstanding a steady barrage of mental uncertainties. It’s about stepping into unknown psychological territories. It takes courage to move into your heavy feelings.
Any time you deal directly with conditioning (how you have been taught to think about yourself, others and life, your ego), it’s going to become uncomfortable; the mind is going to sling every dastardly thought you’ve ever had into your awareness to test your resolve and commitment to see yourself as you are. This inner psychological attack is challenging to sit with, especially without offering resistance, and yet this non-resistance is key. It may seem counterintuitive to ask you to move into your painful feelings and dark thoughts, but that’s the only way to see through them. Suffering is held in place by an unwillingness to accept the mind as it is. This practice is not about manipulating your mind, or making it do anything at all, it is simply about observing how your mind behaves.
Ask yourself, am I conscious right now?
In guerrilla self-inquiry, don’t resist your thoughts, do not accept thoughts as true. Just notice what appears and disappears in your mind. Whatever comes up, welcome it, whatever leaves, let it go. Offer no judgement. Notice thoughts as they appear and say hello, no matter how uncomfortable this becomes, lean into the discomfort. Bring a willingness to die again and again to who you think you are.
Observe your mind and investigate the source of your observations without the desire to understand or change whatever arises. By watching the mind like this, it is possible to see beyond who you think you are, beyond mental habits and beliefs, and remember yourself as you are. There is healing here.
Ask yourself again, am I conscious right now?
The goal of inquiry is to begin a deep, sincere investigation into the roots of psychological confusion, unconscious beliefs and painful behaviors. Guerrilla self-inquiry is one powerful way to deal directly with mental suffering so that you are not owned by it anymore.
Ask yourself many times a day, am I conscious right now?